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Tuesday, 21 June 2016

Wonders of the wine bar

It has been too long since my last blog. Thankfully Yates' Wine Bar in Leeds came to my rescue last week.

In search of a glass of wine (or two) myself and a colleague popped in to their establishment, and after checking the prices, decided to order a bottle of red. The young barman (pictured below) was wearing what could only be described as fashion-statement oversized glasses.
He wandered off and then wandered back before wandering off again. He repeated this process several times and appeared to be patrolling the length of the bar. No-one else was waiting to be served so we knew we had his undivided attention. After several minutes he came back and said,

"Do you know where they keep corkscrews in wine bars?"

It seems it was his first day. We suggested that behind the bar was probably his best bet and off he went again. Several minutes later we called him back and asked if we could have a glass of wine while we were waiting for the corkscrew to be found.

"Have it on the house," he said. We warmed to him at this point.

He turned around grabbed an open bottle and a measure and... found three corkscrews at the same time. We got our free glass while he opened our bottle. As he pulled the cork from the bottle I said,

"You should have gone to Specsavers!"

He replied,  "I did"

Tuesday, 26 April 2016

Parking problems

Over the years I have, I freely admit, transgressed parking bye-laws. I have been done for parking on single yellow lines, out-staying my welcome, parking across the white lines of a parking bay and even for having a flat tyre which seemed to upset  Edinburgh Council's finest traffic brains. My accumulated knowledge of parking misdemeanours means I am pretty clued up on the subject ... or so I thought.

I parked in Leeds a couple of weeks ago. Having booked online and paid for the full day I was confident that my car was violation-free. It came as a surprise, when at 5.15, I returned to find a ticket stuck on the window. Eager to see what I had done wrong I ripped open the envelope. The wording was...

"The driver was seen walking away from the car park, leaving his car on the premises."

Call me old-fashioned but I thought that was the whole bloody point of a car park!!

Seemingly, having paid for the day's parking I should have sat in the car from 8.00 till 5.00!!

Tuesday, 1 March 2016

Important information update

I work from home. Sometimes this can beneficial, I choose my hours, fit work around other things in my life and so on. At other times it can be quite challenging. If a courier turns up and knocks on the door and rings the bell in the middle of a conference call, it can be awkward. Occasionally Mrs Blog bursts in to my office to tell me the latest bit of news, as she did this morning.

"I can't speak, I am on the phone!" I hissed muting the microphone with my chest.

"Oops. sorry!" said Mrs Blog.

Ten minutes later I finished the call and went looking for Mrs Blog to find out what was so important and so urgent that she needed to interrupt my work.

"I wanted to tell you that I've moved the potatoes," she said.

Tuesday, 16 February 2016


For many years now Mrs Blog has wanted to try lobster to see what all the fuss is about. As neither one of us knows the first thing about preparing, cooking or smashing apart a lobster, her wish has remained unfulfilled ... until now.
Last weekend she discovered a pre-prepared lobster that you simply pop into a pot of boiling water for five minutes and bob's your uncle!

We decided that Valentine's day was the day to enjoy this little treat. As dinner-time approached, the anticipation reached fever pitch. Mrs Blog took off the wrapping and things went downhill, it smelled really fishy. Fearing a bout of shellfish-induced, food poisoning we proceeded cautiously.

Having boiled it thoroughly we set about trying to get at it. I attacked the claws with a nutcracker and soon there was nothing left of them that looked remotely edible.

Mrs Blog tried to pull off the inedible bits and then delegated the job to me. I went for it with all a bloke can muster and pulled all sorts of bits with gusto. Soon we were left with a bit of shell and a suspicious looking lump of lobster meat. After a health and safety meeting we decided it too was inedible.

After all the anticipation, preparation and effort, all that was left to eat was the wedge of lemon we were going to squeeze over it!

Tuesday, 26 January 2016

I'm a fire-starter

Night before last I was busy in the kitchen making a sweet chilli dipping sauce. Somehow I spilled a big load of sugar on the hotplate of the Aga. No problem - I simply mopped it up with a piece of kitchen towel.

This led to a series of important discoveries,

  1. Spilling sugar on an Aga creates a nasty smell
  2. My curry did not mask the smell of the burning sugar
  3. You cannot concentrate on cooking when there is smoke billowing in the kitchen
  4. Despite there being no naked flames on the Aga hotplate it can still cause a kitchen towel to spontaneously combust
  5. A plastic recycling bag isn't best place to put a piece of paper that is going to burst into flames

Monday, 25 January 2016

Hunger games and hairstyles

A week or so ago Daughter-blog was staying with us. One morning she wandered into the dining room with her hair tied up in massive curlers. A little like this...

Having recently seen the last film in the Hunger Games series I mentioned that she looked a bit like Effie Trinket. (For non-Hunger Games fans see below)

She was not totally bowled over by the comment. A short while later she said she was going back up stairs to finish her hair.

Son-blog offered the following support, "May the odds be ever in your favour!"

Monday, 28 December 2015

Blog Christmas

Christmas in the Blog-house was peppered with mis-speaking. Here are some samples...

"We can have Christmas rolls on sausage eve." (Mrs Blog)

"Oh, lovely! Spam hand lotion!" (Grandma-snoop-blog referring to a spa hand lotion)

"There's an Agatha Crispie on tonight." (Mrs Blog)

So we are looking forward to a nappy-new-hear....