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Friday, 13 April 2018

Long Tailed Tit

You might remember this fella. He was bashing his brains out on our windows two weeks ago. (See post "Bird Troubles". After two weeks of him not finding a mate he is still pelting our windows constantly, all day, every day! So please...

  1. Does anyone have a spare female long tailed tit?
  2. A solution to stop this guy needing a head injury assessment? and,
  3. The name of a good window cleaner?

PS you can follow this inane drivel automatically be putting your email address in the box below

Sunday, 8 April 2018

Coffee Art

I enjoy a good cup of coffee and in particular a flat white or a cortado, both of which come with coffee art. The quality of the art naturally varies according to the experience of the barista. I have seen some truly remarkable tulips and even a pumpkin over the years. Recently, however ever I was treated to a piece of art that left me speechless. It was produced by very experienced Costa-Mike-Blog and at first I thought it was the worst attempt at a tulip I had ever seen. Then he explained...

"It's a jellyfish"

Genius!


Monday, 2 April 2018

Daughter-blog rewrites the Bible

At the same dinner mentioned in the last post Daughter-blog disgraced herself and started a new religion in the same sentence. She was describing what would happen at the Easter Vigil mass that evening and said,

"There'll be a reading from the book of Gemini."

Wherein we discover that Judas was a Scorpio?



(Acknowledgement: Beth=blog)

Sunday, 1 April 2018

Feeling very old

Last night I was at dinner in Edinburgh with the blog family and friends. Somehow we found ourselves talking about a pew we used to own and kept as an outdoor bench. I mentioned that in the early days of the Church, (meaning over a thousand years ago), there were no seats in Christian churches except for a handful for the infirm or the elderly.

That prompted a friend of daughter-blog, called "Lara-I-am-not-a-spy-blog" to ask,

"Do you remember those days?"

Happy Easter!

Saturday, 31 March 2018

Communication problems

Last week I was in Aberdeen for a meeting with a prospective client. The client, who was from Fraserburgh, wanted to invest money for his grandchildren... or so I thought.

"Ah want to put the barbies in a trust!" he told me.

I looked blankly back.

"The micks! I want to put the micks and the barbies in a trust for the wains!" he told me again.

I carried on looking blank. Nothing in my extensive career in financial planning had prepared me for the investment of "micks and barbies" into anything.

Was this some racist slur against people from Ireland I wondered? Why could he not just give the dolls to his grandchildren without a trust? Why indeed did he have a collection of dolls in the first place? Why did he think I was an expert in dolls?

After several confusing minutes it was explained to me, by a translator, that micks and barbies were in fact money in Fraserburgh.

Friday, 30 March 2018

Bird troubles

For the last fortnight the blog-house has been under attack. Our attacker is a diminutive long-tailed tit. He has taken to headbutting the kitchen window for hours at a time all through the day. Our best efforts to dissuade him have met with no success.

Mystified by this behaviour I went on the interwebtube in search of answers. I have discovered that,

  1. Long-tailed tits breed about this time in Scotland
  2. The males like to chase off rivals with aggressive displays during the breeding season
  3. Long tailed-tits are short-sighted
Conclusion: Our bird-brained buddy is seeing his reflection in the window and is spending all day trying to scare it off.

In case you have the same problem here is what they look like.



Thursday, 29 March 2018

Another can't stop myself post

If you hated the last post then don't read this one.

Last night Mrs Blog was chatting with her friend Dibdob-blog. I overheard a snippet about someone who was brought up in a remote house halfway up a mountain. Said person came home from school one day to find that their father had removed the front door.

It was too good an opportunity to miss,

"Was he unhinged?" I asked.