Annoyances

Having been forced to drive daughter-blog to Edinburgh at the last minute this morning - all because she cannot work out how a bus timetable works - I had one of those annoying return journeys. You know the sort - slow drivers in front of view leaving you caught by red traffic lights, drivers who brake for no reason, people who drive at 45mph in 60 mph zones then carry on doing 45mph in 30 mph areas.

All of this was topped off by a really slow and wide Tesco van I was forced to follow for five miles. As I sat there behind it reading the writing on the back I realised it was not an ordinary van but a "Tesco Online Shopping" van. This is one of those that drops off your shopping once you have bought it on the internet - or at least that is what they tell you.

My only experience of using Tesco online was horrendous. The web page takes forever to complete and it would not let me choose my nearest Tesco instead it insisted I use one a further 8 miles away. Despite all this I thought - this is not too bad - sitting at home ordering the week's shopping and just relaxing till it turns up. I marvelled at the wonder of modern technology and all the clever people Tesco had employed with degrees in website design and IT. What I had not counted on was "Wee Jimmy" from Galashiels who is the guy who actually puts your shopping in the bags and pops it into the van.

"Wee Jimmy" does not have a degree in IT but he is in the responsible position of deciding what item he should place in your shopping if they are out of stock of something - and that is where it all went wrong...

Funny start to the day

Mrs Blog was up early again and so was Son-Blog which was more surprising given that he is 17. Not one to waste an opportunity I asked him if, rather than waking his sister up with a cup of tea, he would wake her with his saxophone. Always keen to oblige an again parent he did just that. In the process he created the "Saxalarm" and turned Daughter-Blog into a screaming banshee.

Of course as always in my life when I am responsible for a little mischief I am struck down by a cunning plan of the Spite Goblin. Today he sought his revenge while I was topping up the "Wee Box" with loose change. The "Wee Box" is a cardboard box with a slit for coins to go in which are collected for SCIAF. Our Wee Box was on the bread bin by the toaster and the S.G. made me drop a twenty pence piece in the toaster rather than the box. Undeterred, I simply turned the toaster upside down and got covered in four billion burnt bread crumbs. Will I ever learn?

More misunderstandings

Last Thursday I cooked supper for my son and I whilst Mrs Blog was away in Corsica retrieving daughter-blog from the Frenchies. By way of a change and bearing in mind my high cholesterol I opted for fish in a Keralan marinade. Not knowing what sort of fish they catch in Southern India I settled for good old cod. When Mrs Blog got home with charge in tow and had settled down she asked how we had been and what we had eaten while she was away. The following day she asked about the cooking again

"Where did you get the halibut?" she asked,
"Cod" I corrected her
"God?!!" said daughter-blog


And so began an evening of misunderstandiings - the highlights of which were Mrs Blog looking at a magazine and exclaiming that she had found an "easy tart"

Followed by suggesting that I should sniff "naughty Alice" - which gien that we number among our friends one who is called Alice (apologies to that Alice) made for a confusing moment. It took a while for me to be convinced thtat there really is a perfume called "Naughty Alice"

In order to prove a point I thought I would run a google image search on Naughty Alice - luckily it threw up this,-

Because with hindisght that could have been a whole lot worse!

Been quiet lately!

Not had much to write about lately but then I noticed that someone from Australia has visited this site and could not resist .....



Then my sister-in-law rang to tell me that she was living in half a house....

(Millie is the suicidal dog that lives with her and jumps out of second floor windows when left unattended.)

......and then the daughter who went to Corsica for three months came home bearing gifts. "Gifts" might be a more correct way of describing them - they consisted of a variety of foodstuffs given to her by Corsican well-wishers (no surprise given that she writes a food blog - see margin). Foodstuffs - you might be wondering  - "What exactly?"


Yes - sausages!



Bacon Cheese Chocolate

A couple of weeks ago I had a blood test and Friday saw me get the results from the same German doctor who saw "zee pus" in my tonsillitis diagnosis. She explained that my Cholesterol was high - a score above 5 is in need of action and 7 or 8 are serious heart attack. I got a 5.7 - no serious worries but she warned me off bacon, chocolate and cheese.
Great I thought  - I never eat bacon chocolate and cheese at the same time! Alas it turns out she meant indivdually I have to avoid bacon, chocolate and cheese.

Mrs Blog had been reading up on Cholesterol and decided to add biscuits and sausages to the list of proscribed items sinc ewhen life is not worth living.

Living in Scotland we hardly ever see the sun and when we do we make the most of it by dusting off the barbecue. Yesterday (Saturday) was just such a day. So first barbecue of the year and I cannot have sausages!