Hot head

Swiss nephew-blog Ben (See Cooker problems) has done it again. Now aged three he has developed a decent vocabulary and is not afraid to use it.

Seemingly he was out with his parents visiting friends. The friends are a couple, the husband is losing his hair. The hair loss has manifest itself in a bald head, save for a shock of hair at the front, giving a tonsure style.

When left alone with the husband Ben earnestly asked "Have you set fire to your head? Is that why you haven't got any hair?"

Puzzled, said friend relayed the exchange to Swiss-sister-blog who, after a few seconds realised what was going on.

"Ben was watching Home Alone this afternoon!"

Shakespearean Speech Recognition

As the proud owner of a  Windows 8 operating system, I have been exploring the features it offers. One of them is speech recognition. It has caused a few issues.

In frustration this morning I dictated "Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears! I come to bury Caesar not to praise him." etc.

It appeared as

"Graham’s brother and a woman named me that the runs were warnings went and knowlton’s our accounts that receives a lot Leeson the ball bounced wearing blue names are the names and generates the backbone so that we meet season with the room"

Back to more mundane technology.

More Vodafone nonsense!

Vodafone have featured more than any other business in the pages of this blog and are continuing to provide ample scope for maintaining their track record.

TalkTalk have kindly agreed to compensate me for the expense of using my mobile phone while they repaired my land-line. In order to obtain the compensation I need to provide an amount. A piece of cake you would think. "Why not log on to your Vodafone online account and check usage and itemised bills?" I hear you cry?. That is what I spent this morning trying to do.

Vodafone have locked my account. I mis-typed the password twice and they had a security meltdown, mistaking me for a fundamentalist terrorist. I went on to the online chat facility and asked if they could unlock my account.

I waited and waited and was then asked "Are you willing to unlock your account?"

"Yes!" I replied.

"You have not got an online account with Vodafone."

"Yes I do. It is the one that keeps sending me emails with new passwords."

"Oh. What is your username and mobile number?"

I offered them.

"You have not got an online account. Please register by using this link."

I clicked and went through the process. It asked for my account number. I searched past emails and found nothing to help. After fiddling about I saw that they could text me the account number. I texted and they texted right back telling me they also needed my post code. Why they could not tell me first time....

I texted again and they texted right back with my account number. Joy!

I entered my account number and opened the section marked "itemised bills" at last I would have the info for TalkTalk....

"Sorry this section of the website is under repair."

Off to find the Scotch.