Confusion at the end of the world

The Blog-Family were talking about which film to watch this evening. The decision was made more on the basis of what we weren't going to watch...mainly due to Mrs Blog...she decided that,

"Bad Max" was not appropriate. 

Because...

"It's a film about an apoplectic world"

Religious Confusion

Since lockdown has blighted any attempts to be physically present at church on a Sunday we have been using the livestream option.

Son-blog, being an almighty techy, has found out how to add live subtitles to the feed. Sadly (or not) the programme it uses doesnt recognise the Scottish accent of people brought up in Loanhead (i.e our priest).

This week we discovered that heaven is a place of light refreshments and last week we were told that the story of Noah was in the book of "Excellence"!

Mechanical Challenges

I know little about cars and how their engines work. My feelings of inadequacy were eased a little this week when the best mechanical brains of JRD motors were flummoxed.

My car has a warning light system for everything except the second coming. The warning lights started to go on one by one. First it was the big orange engine telling me my "Eco system" was faulty. Then the Stop/Start light came on telling me it wasn't working, even though it was. After that, the oil warning light lit up and told me to take the car to the workshop. I booked it in and was told the car would be "ok" to drive for a day or two. Two days later on the way to JRD another warning light came on.

JRD have never been beaten by any challenge I have given them, so I knew the car was in safe hands.

At 11.30 am the receptionist called to tell me they had found the fault...it was still running around the workshop and the office being chased by three full grown mechanics.

Yep!! 

A full grown (and I mean full grown!) rabbit had taken to building a nest in the bumper recess in the engine compartment.

Unbelievieably it had survived two journeys to Galashiels and back - a total of 72 miles.

Seemingly it had been eating the wires of the sensors.

After a brief appearance on the JRD Motors Facebook page it was released unharmed miles away from my car.

The end may be nigh-er than I thought!

Hot on the heels of the last post, (which was a thinly disguised attempt at self-preservation by increasing the pool of witnesses), I have reason to believe that Mrs Blog may have decided to sub-contract the job of polishing me off.

On Saturday morning she confided that our two adult children, Zoltan and Adolf, should be doing more chores during lockdown while staying with us. Foolishly I agreed with her!

Later that morning, Adolf-Son-Blog wandered into the lounge announcing he had been given a chore by his mother...

"Where is the hatchet, Dad?"

(It wont be long now)

 

The end is nigh!!!

Help!

If you dont hear from me after April 2021 please contact the local CID.

By way of background, I believe my life is in danger. 

Six weeks ago I fell down the stairs and landed on my ankle ending up in A&E. Only now am I able to think about getting back to running so it wasn't a mere bruise. I wasn't pushed...but I was a wearing a pair of slippery slippers that Mrs Blog gave me as a Christmas present.

Three weeks ago I was in A&E again having stitches put into my hand. I had been de-boning a chicken and an extremely sharp knife sliced through it like a hot knife through the proverbial butter. The knife was an anniversary gift...from Mrs Blog.

My birthday is in April and I am dreading it!!!

Hot water!

 A conversation from the Blog-household recently...

Daughter Blog (DB) "The kettle has just boiled don't switch it back on!"

Me "OK"

(Not trusting DB on water temperature I wandered off to wait till the coast was clear before making a cup of tea)

Five minutes later....

DB (From a different room) "Eugh!!! Cold coffee!"

Under-height Giraffes

 The Times has come up trumps again! As regulars will know they often do. Once in a while they carry a story that makes you smile.

In case you missed this week's here it is.

Animal loving scientists in Africa have discovered two under height Giraffes born separately over hundreds of miles apart.

The normal Giraffe apparently reaches around 16ft plus when fully grown. These new additions have been struggling to get much above 9ft, not much higher than the world's tallest man.

What did the researches call the first little fella??