Five a day?

Mrs Blog has been on a mission for sometime to make sure I get my five-a-day of fruit and veg. She is deaf to my pleas that bread, cheese and chocolate, (being non-meat) should count towards the five a day total.

Last week she served up broccoli,which I can just about cope with, but had a surplus of it after serving. Not the food recycling bin for us, we have chickens! Mrs Blog was convinced that chickens like to get their five-a-day and so she scattered the left over broccoli on the grass for them.

A week later and the scattered broccoli is still there. Not only do chickens not like it, nor do any other animals that roam the blog garden. Foxes, squirrels, rabbits, (to say nothing of birds that have no issues eating the less pleasant parts of roadkill), all turning their noses up.

I'd like to think this evidence would be enough to let me off this element of my "five a day" plan but I suspect Mrs Blog will have other ideas.

When tea and bread taste funny

This morning I had two slices of bread (a homemade loaf of which I was particularly proud) liberally spread with butter. Instead of the yummy flavour of bread and butter, all I could taste was flavours that hinted of the dishwasher.

My first thought was that I had mixed the flour etc in a bowl which had not been washed properly.

Then I sipped my tea and it too tasted of the same foulness.

Perhaps the dishwasher is faulty I thought. Or perhaps I was coming down with a cold and it was affecting my sense of taste?

Readers will be pleased to know that Mr Bog doesn't have to fork out for a new dishwasher or prepare for a bout of man-flu. Mrs Blog had bought a new type of butter which had found its way into the butter dish (I couldn't read the label properly without my glasses) - garlic butter!

If I had warned her in time we would not have had garlic omelette, garlic mushrooms and garlic bacon for breakfast.

Nearly lost the wife...

Mrs Blog works at a local emporium from which she likes to be collected after work by yours truly.

Yesterday evening I duly set off to pick her up outside the shop and waited patiently for her to appear.

After a few minutes I saw her cross the road and head towards our car.

She grabbed the door handle and pulled open the door saying,

"Hello Darling. How was your day?"

I didn't hear her say these words though. Is Mr Blog going deaf in his dotage? I hear you ask. No, I am not. Mrs Blog was trying to get in the wrong car and make off with a complete stranger!