The sound of silence

For some time I have been planning a podcast on investment. After countless rehearsals I decided to go for it and spend the morning recording.

The sound absorbing panels were in place, the mike was on and the system up and running. From experience I knew that a single recording that could be edited, would be easier and less time consuming than trying to record a perfect episode.

I was wrong.

Two hours of recording this morning yielded not a single second of usable material. Was it the enormity of the task? Overly high expectations on my part?

No. I failed to select the correct sound input - the equivalent of not plugging in the microphone.

Best food for the post-apocalyptic world

Have you ever wondered what the best food is for the post-apocalypse?

It would, ideally, have the longest possible shelf-life. My thoughts had gone no further than tinned goods... until last week. Mrs Blog found a food that makes tins obsolete. What is it?

Beef Jerky!

She read out the sell by date - 2071! A full 52 years.

My ears pricked up. I took the packet and read.

Back to tins I'm afraid. The product code and the date are not the same thing. 😕

Empty promises

All day I waited for the courier who did not turn up. He/she was supposed to deliver an empty box. The plan was that I would fill the box with a laptop, Ipad and projector and return them to the courier. He/she would then deliver them back to my old employer who are the rightful owners.

Why did the courier not turn up? 

Because they didn't think it was worth delivering an empty box!

Bloody bins

You would think that using a recycling bin would be relatively hazard free? Not in the Blog house.

Recently I went to put out the "blue bin" - earmarked for paper, cardboard, plastic and other recyclable waste. All in accord with the Borders Council Thought Police instructions. One of which is that the bin lid must be flat.

I notice our lid was propped up by one bag too many shoved in to the blue bin. "Easy" I thought, "Simply shove the bag in further".

I did.

It burst.

The (non-recyclable) ashes from our fire were in the bag ...but not for much longer.

I celebrated Ash-Wednesday in style.

Modern medical science

A couple of weeks ago I went for a consultation with an orthopaedic consultant. She suggested that a minor operation was needed to solve a problem in my hand.

"Have you got any questions?" she asked.

"Yes. Will I be able to play the guitar after the operation?"

"Yes, absolutely," she replied.

"Great, I've always wanted to play the gutar!"

Organisation and communication

Just over a week ago I was heading off for a long weekend with a bunch of chums to Naples. We agreed to meet at a local car park at 7.15 a.m. Here is a snippet of the conversation...

"Where's David?" asked Mark

"He thought you were picking him up at his house. But he's on his way here now, walking down the hill."

"His house? I said to be at my house! I'll go get him." Off went Mark in his car.

Several minutes later he reappeared.

"Can't find him. I tried my house but he wasn't there."

"No, he said he was walking down the hill, not to your house."

"Oh, I'll get him on the way down the hill!" Off went Mark.

"Where's Mark going, that's the wrong way?" asked three of us simultaneously.

"David will be nearly here anyway"

Just as Mark was out of sight...David appeared.

"Where's Mark?"

"Looking for you. on the wrong hill."