At last

It has been a bit quiet lately so sadly there has been little to blog about.

This creative drought has been brought to a welcome end by news from Spain. It appears the Spanish government (who are not renowned for having huge amounts of cash) have sunk $680 m into a project to build several submarines. They have discovered a slight hitch...the submarines will sink. That is, sink and not come back up again! A little like their Armada?

A weekend to myself

Mrs Blog took her self off to Aberdeen yesterday afternoon to spend some time with daughter-blog (the one with the goggles who cannot throw a stone into the sea).

As she left she told me how nice it would be for me to have the rest of the day to myself to do what ever I wanted. She also  told me that if I could find time she would quote like me to put together a stool she had found in IKEA.

My balloon was burst. Previous encounters with IKEA had prepared me for the task ahead. I waved goodbye to Mrs Blog and retreated to the house with a heavy heart. My whole weekend to myself hinged on being able to assemble the latest purchase -  a metal and plastic stool called Fanghorn (or something like that).

Previous encounters with Bumlard, Wilidik and Oyball had prepared me for what lay ahead.

With screwdriver and spanner set located I set about opening up the packaging. The usual instruction leaflet was there - no words just stupid little pictures that make no bloody sense. As you have probably guessed most of my weekend disappeared in trying to assemble Mrs Blog's Fanghorn Stool.

Mr Blog goes in to business

Mr Blog has set up a new business. It aims to tell the Life Insurance world what is wrong with it and what it needs to do to put things right. Given the state of Life Insurance companies  there should be no shortage of work and money into Mr Blog's coffers.

As part of the marketing effort for my new business I wrote a letter to the UK managing director of Prudential, whom I know from my time working there.

My letter said,

"Dear Barry,

Trust you are well. The first quarter has been challenging for the market in the UK. I have some thoughts on how it is going to develop and would welcome the opportunity of a short meeting to share them with you.

In the first instance I can send you a synopsis of the meeting but would need an email address to so.

Kind regards etc"

Given that Prudential reported an 18% fall in business in their major product line in Q1 after  I sent my letter I was confident he would be impressed with my insights!

I received his reply yesterday, it is edited for brevity and wit.

"Dear Sir/Madam (I did sign my letter Richard)

Thanks you for your enquiry. Unfortunately from the information supplied , we have been unable to trace your policy details on our system. We would be grateful if you could provide us with the following additional information and return this letter together with your original correspondence. (Which they sent back to me!)

.....if you have any questions please call us on 0800 000 000."

Mr Blog has more work than he thought!!

Early Morning Stress

Just back from a two day trip to London. To get there on Wednesday morning I needed to use the Blog-mobile No 3 (a 2005 Ford Fiesta). Blog-mobile No 3 has been in the garage for a few weeks and I was unsure how much fuel it had in the tank. So on Tuesday it occurred to me that I needed to check that there was enough fuel to get me to the airport, especially so, as I was leaving at 4.00 a.m.

(Living in the Borders of Scotland means that petrol stations are few and far between and petrol stations open at 4.00 a.m are non-existent, the nearest all night garage is close to Edinburgh - 30 miles away).

I need not have worried, Mrs Blog was on the case. She had taken Blog-mobile No 3 out of the garage where it usually rusts and checked the fuel level.

"Just under a half tank" she replied, when I asked her on Tuesday evening.

"Fantastic!" I said, "no need to top up before I leave tomorrow."

Posting "Witness to Fitness" on the 18th February this year should have warned me that Mrs Blog is rubbish at reading displays on technical equipment.

When I got in the car at 3.45  a.m. on Tuesday, the fuel gauge read near empty! Evaporation? No! Faulty indicator? No! .....

Mrs Blog confusing the temperature gauge and the fuel gauge? YES!!!!

Thank God that Stellios and his orange friends cannot get a plane to take off on time.